Ary Kerazee

Let me try and make this very clear in case ada lah a few of you yang oblivious to facts.

First and foremost, if you knew me when I was 14, DOES NOT MEAN YOU KNOW ME AT 24!

Paham?

Jadi silalah simpan komen anda yang tak lawak tuh to yourself.

“Eh eh dah kawen ke? Hehe ingatkan you jenis akan have fun je sampai bila-bila”.

Ok, apakah maksud anda? Sila jangan gunakan ayat-ayat tersirat because oh I’m soooooooooooooo stupid. Ye lah kawen kan bermaksud NO FUN dah.

“You kawen dengan laki macam tuh?? Lah ingatkan your taste jenis yang high profile, yang jenis kaya-kaya”.

Ye, my motive in life is to get married to a high profiled man who is rich. Sebab aku adalah sangat bimbo-ish. Sorry lah jikalau anda kecewa kerana lelaki yang aku kawen itu mempunyai hati emas. Lelaki anda bagaimana?

“I ada pakwe yang support I. Tetiap bulan kasi I duit. Kesian you lah sebab every month kena keje kuat cari duit”.

*pengsan* Ayat nie tak boleh blah. Ko boleh bangga sebab tetiap bulan pakwe ko kasik ko duit and sediakan kete tuk ko? Hahahahhahahahahahahahaha…(jap nak gelak lagi) hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahhaha. Adoi lah, ko yang bimbo rupanya. Pakwe dik! PAKWE! Sok dia dump ko, ape citer??

“Ee ee apesal dari dulu sampai sekarang you ni kurus melidi je? Tak cukup makan ke?”

I nak maintain kurus melidi nie sebab takmo bersaing ngan you. Kang I jadik gempal, sapa nak pandang you tak? Semua pandang I jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Makan cukop. Apesal, kalo tak cukop, boleh ke aku mintak ko duit nak beli makanan??

So people…please. Lepas 10 tahun tak jumpa, ko bukanlah kawan yang boleh buat lawak atau tanya soalan-soalan berupa cynical.

Unless you have been in my life off and on…then you ada hak. Kalo tak, silalah bunuh diri seblom aku hire hitman. Dengar kata kawan aku nya ayah tgh cari keje. Dia kata pape keje pon dia akan buat. Jadi berhati-hati dengan mulut cabul anda.

I was first introduced to Usana by Nas who was introduced by one of the ustaz in Labuan. Semua gara-gara my miscarriage in December. Ustaz tuh kata, amik supplement nie utk cepat sembuhkan rahim.

No.1, I tak suka telan ubat.

No.2, I tak suka product hasil MLM.

No.3, I tak suka MLM sebab I marketing adalah gagal.

No.4, I tak suka MLM.

But when you’re in pain, semua je boleh suka. Yang tak suka tuh semua I paksakan jugak. 2 weeks after taking Usana Essentials and Proflavanol, I was scheduled for my check-up. My gyane was so impress by how much my womb had recovered in 2 weeks. Takde open wounds and most importantly takde tisu lebihan yang perlu dikeluarkan. No bleeding,  nothing. He asked me, how come? I said, Usana. He said, bawak product tuh datang sini I nak tgk. Dats exactly what I did. Now he’s a member and he dah belikan supplement for his parents and his opah (hihi I dengarlah dia panggil nenek dia opah, comel je).

So, itulah history macam mana I boleh terjebak makan Usana nie. Then in Feb or March, Nas became a member. He saw the essentials in the ‘essentials’. Org strok sembuh lepas 2 bulan. Org lumpuh jalan lepas 4 bulan.

I only became a member in May. Itu pon sebab ramai asyik mintak I belikan. Anddddddddddddd my mom nak kurus. Ehek. 3 weeks amik Fibergy and Nutrimeal she lost 4 kilos. And soon after, I had my 2 cousins hooked on Fibergy and Nutrimeal. Nak kurus nya pasal tapi nak maintain healthy.

Seblom guna Sense…I guna Clinique. Then barang-barang I habis, I wanted to try Sense. Coz the supplement was so good so I wanted to give the skincare a chance. I beli Gentle Daily Cleaner and Hydrating Toner dulu. Nak test market lah kan coz muka I mcm haram je nya sensitif. Amazing ek, lepas 2 hari je guna, I dah takde jerawat baru. So on the 4th day, I beli Daytime Protective Emulsion and Night Renewal. The best ever I have used.

Memang I ngaku…tak ramai akan suka coz it’s not berbuih-buih like most cleansers. But the most important thing is…it’s not the BUIH. It’s the effect on the skin!!

So far using this 4 products and taking the supplements religiously for this past months (supplements dah 6 bulan and Sense dah  4 bulan), alhamdulillah I have seen so much improvement.

Satu je lah I nak ingatkan, skin care does come from within. So it’s best if you use Sense sekali ngan makan supplement. Takyah byk, 3 yg main dah cukup. Essentials (ada 2) and Proflavanol.

Then I found out I was pregnant. I risau jugak kot-kot Sense nie harmful to the baby. I amik semua and I tunjuk doctor. Doctor thumbs up, kata nothing harmful in Sense. I lagik lah happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!

Till to date ek, the changes I have seen.

1. Me – dah takde pimples, skin much healthier. Rambut lebat bukan main, kuku sehat memutih lawa.

2. Nas – resdung dah mcm takde. Skang nie kena aircond pon takde bersin-bersin sampai 6-7 satu round.

3. My mom – dari takleh duduk kat lantai sebab susah nak bangun, she dah boleh duduk and bangun dengan sendirinya and TIDAK SAKIT SENDI. Before this, her cecair kat sendi-sendi semua mcm tak takde. So she akan slalu sakit-sakit lutut, siku.

4. My dad – sugar level drop from 11 to 7 in 11 days. Now sugar level 5.

5. Aunty sorang tuh – frozen shoulder, takleh angkat tangan lebih tinggi dari kelapa. Skang dah boleh main badminton. Amik Usana for 2 weeks.

The latest and most recent, yang siap buat I nangis is this one. My friend through Usana.

from Celina <xxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
to nirmuda@gmail.com
date Thurs, Jun 18, 2009 at 8:20 PM
subject Suffering from Lyme Disease
mailed-by yahoo.com
signed-by yahoo.com

Dear Ary,

After just exactly 10 weeks of taking Usana Essentials + Proflavanol + Coquinone + Biomega, all I can say that it’s the best RM595 that I have ever spent.

To those yang tatau Lyme Disease tuh apa, it’s actually penyakit ruam kulit yang very serious it can lumpuhkan your sistem saraf pusat.

I’ll soon post more testimonials from people who have emailed me.

Nak jadi member murah je tau, RM99 only. Yang nak beli produk je pon boleh, I bagi harga member. Kalau nak cari duit lebih, jadiklah member. Kalau tak berminat nak menjual also no hal, beli sendiri and pakai sendiri lah. Tak pon utk mak ayah nenek datuk isteri suami anak pakcik makcik?

I am sooooooooooo madly craving for this!! Top with loads of black pepper sauce. Tapi kena tunggu Sabtu sebab kawan Se-Kenny-Rogers free kol 6 untuk teman I mencekik. I dah ajak 2 org tapi mereka adalah kejam kerana kata tidak kepada ibu mengandung. Anda kejam. Ya anda yang bernama Saz dan anda yang bernama Tiff. Walaupon anda tidak suka akan Kenny Rogers tapi sekurang-kurangnya untuk kawan anda yang kesian-tak-ada-suami-untuk-teman-ini, anda patut berpura-pura suka dan order muffin.

**pic taken from  http://www.krr.com.my/healthy-offerings-kenny-greatest-meal.html**

Tak boleh nak buat apa. Tengah-tengah malam buta nie (2.15am to be exact) apabila kelaparan, hanya boleh minum amnum perisa coklat. Sedap. Tapi tak puaslah macam mengunyah keropok lekor ataupon twisties. Kenny Rogers jauh sekali.

Nasihat aku pada yang lapar…janganlah tengok Asian Food Channel!! Aku tengah tengok nie haaa tapi…mereka sedang memasak testis. Testis kepunyaan apa atau siapa, itu aku tak tahu. And honestly, tak nak tahu. Next channel please!!

Yup, you’ve read it right.

Let me try and keep this as short and simple as possible ok.

Bagi kaum wanita dan (ehem) lelaki yang membaca, silalah baca dengan perasaan horror sekali.

Oh ya entri ini akan berbau lucah sedikit kerana melibatkan vagina atau saya lebih suka menggelarnya cipet.

Last Saturday was my check up dgn gynae wanita di sebuah klinik yang terletak di Bdr Tasik Selatan. The reason I pilih klinik nie sebabnya tak sampai 5 minutes drive from my house and the doctor is attached to UM. Jadiknya kalo nak bersalin, bolehlah ke UM. Ya, itu pendapat saya. Namun second check up tidak membuahkan hasil kerana mesin scan perut tidak dapat mengesan janin I. Al-maklum. Dulu doc kat Pusrawi kata ini disebabkan oleh badan I yang keding maka I tak ada lemak nak ketepikan usus-usus dan segala dari uterus. Paham?

So lepas tenyeh perut I sebanyak 4 kali, she nak refer me to HUKM, itulah sepital paling dekat kan. I was hurm hurm, tak sure because I macam lebih selesa mendengar UM dari HUKM. Sebab? SEBAB I LAHIR KAT UM AND I WAS ONLY 24 WEEKS AND 4 DAYS OLD AND I SURVIVED!! Haah, I baby 6 bulan and I cukup semua sifat.

Since it was late Saturday morning, I pon angguk-angguk je lah. Ntah brape lama plak nak tunggu kat UM kan. So dengan berbekalkan surat yang tertulis emergency, Nas, my mom and me gagahkan diri ke HUKM.

Emergency wa cakap lu. Wa tunggu dari pukul 11.30am ke pukul 1pm baru dipanggil. Wak lu lah emergency. Boleh bersalin tunggu korang.

Ok fine. Masuk-masuk je, nurse pantek dengan senang hati dan kurang ajar asked me to take off my jeans and panties and lie on the bed. I was like huh? Sebab katil tuh tiada selimut. Hanya 1 bijik bantal. Ehem, the last time I checked lah kan, I ngangkang tuk Nas je…itu pon beliau akan padam semua lampu dan tidak akan membiarkan I kesejukkan cipet.

Ok takpe. Untuk baby I, I gagahkan jugak. I laid there almost 15 minutes. No one came to see me. No one came to attend to me. I clearly boleh dgr doc and her 2 nurses berborak kat luar green curtain. Topik perbualan ialah patient malam tadik yang emergency. From the conversation, I dpt tau yang beliau berumo 35 tahun and that was her 5th pregnancy. First two miscarriage. Third one, takde heart beat. Fourth, kandungan luar rahim and yang kelima, also no heart beat. See…habis medical history beliau I dapat tau. That is how Dr.Izlin dan 2 org nursenya bekerja.

Then the nurse comes to me and suruh I kangkang besar-besar. I nya air mata dah ngalir. Seram hokeh. Ko ingat mak biasa ngangkang time stranger suruh ngangkang?? Doc pon dtg dengan memegang apa yang kelihatan seperti spatula. Takde intro pape, she puts secoet lubricant on it and shoves it into my cipet. Aku dah menangis melalak. Sakit babi!! SAKIT!! Then boleh nurse marah I. “Kangkang lah besar-besar. Nak bersalin pon kena kangkang. Kangkanglah cepat!”.

Kimak lu lah, meh aku kangkangkan ko nak?!

Then doc dengan selamba “you kena relax, jangan tensed up nanti you jugak yg akan buat diri you luka”. She takes the spatula out and takes the besi utk buat vaginal scan tuh…bubuh secoet lubricant and rodok my cipet. Sekali lagilah air mata fresh keluar. She rodok ke kiri, she rodok ke kanan. Ke kiri lagi, ke kanan lagi. Besi tuh dalamnya dah separuh panjang besi tuh. I menangis. She kerut dahi sebab tak nampak apa kat skrin.

She takes out the besi. And suruh I gie kencing dulu, she nak buat upt. Tandas kat luar bilik, tmpt org menunggu. No tuala, no kain, no selimut. I bersyukur ada nurse tua lalu. She nampak I nangis, she amik kain for me. I pakai kain and keluar, kencing dlm botol. Masa nak cuci, ya Allah, sakit bukan main. I cuci and lap dgn tisu. Darah. Darah byk I nak pitam. Time tuh I dah cuak. Rahim I luka ke? Ke luka kat cipet je??

I go in and hand the nurse my urine. She buat upt and sah, positive. She tells the doc. Doc then tells me to lie down again and suruh I letak pillow bawah buntot I. I buat. Kali nie, she buat normal scan (bukan rodok cipet ok)… She tenyeh kuat-kuat kiri kanan, kiri kanan. Tak nampak apa. Again she buat normal scan. Tak nampak apa.

She then takes the besi, I dah mengeluh. Ya Allah, berilah aku semangat. I dah tau, kali nie mesti sakit gila-gila sebab I dah luka kat sana. Oh lupa nak citer tadi. Seblom she rodok cipet I dengan besi itu, she covers it with latex glove. Jenis yg doc pakai tuh. She covers it with the glove again and squeezes a lil bit of lubricant on it and shoves it once again into my cipet. I nangis lagi.

Kiri, kanan, kiri, kanan. I dah sakit leher dah nak pusing tgk screen. Not once ok she showed me the screen. I nak gak tengok apa yg dia tengok atau apa yang dia carik. Nothing.

Then she keluarkan the besi and buat scan biasa. Tak nampa apa again. She then says “nie fetus dah mati. Sebab takde heart beat”.

I couldn’t believe my ears. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!! Noooooooooooooooooooo!! I nangis teresak-esak. Please I don’t want to do another D&C. Sakit azab, ya Allah tolong, tak mahu.

Last time, she does a vaginal scan. I kali nie dah flat. Sakit takyah cakap lah. Dia nya kasar pon takyah cakap. Nak je aku jerit kat dia “ko kangkang skang, aku nak rodok pantat ko mcm ko buat kat aku, tgk ko sakit tak?? KIMAK tol!!”.

But I keep quiet. No words dah. I nangis takleh henti.

Doc muka takde kesian. No sympathy pon. She tells me “you muda lagi, baru 24. You can try again”.

She writes in my report. FETUS DEAD. NO HEART BEAT. SCHEDULED FOR D&C AT 7AM TOMORROW @ 31ST MAY 2009.

She hands it to me. I jalan keluar masih lagi nangis teresak-esak. Nas dah cuak. My mom dah cuak. Both of them comfort me. I takmo dgr cakap sesapa. I takmo dipegang sesapa. Nas pays the fucking bill of RM73. I take my admission slip and walk out.

Sampai je kete I cakap kat them both “I don’t feel it’s right. I know my baby is alive. I know, I just know it”. I start to cry again bursting with fresh tears. Naluri seorang ibu, takkan salah bukan? I tau baby I hidup.

I drop my mom off kat umah sebab ada tuisyen. I ajak Nas pusing 1 KL carik gynae on a Saturday afternoon. Dari Klinik Reddy Jalan Ipoh ke Klinik Lourdes ke Klinik Ibu Nathan ke Tawakal ke Damai Specialist Hospital. Kecewa. Takde gynae dah. Tutop.

Jalan ke blakang Damai, tempat parking kete. Nampak Roopi Medical Centre. Cepat-cepat tarik Nas. Dalam hati “Ya Allah, tolonglah hambamu ini Ya Allah. I need a second opinion”.

Masuk-masuk je, penuh dgn wanita mengandung. I asked the receptionist “do you have a gynae on duty? I really need to see one”.

“Yes, this is a maternity specialist”, she says.

Alhamdulillah. I explain to her my ordeal. Sambil pegang surat admissions dari HUKM. She tanya takpe ke jumpa gynae laki sebab waiting list 3 org je. I cakap at that time, gynae transexual pon I amik. Apa-apa lah jalan.

I waited about 20 minutes seblom nama I dipanggil.

I masuk dengan Nas. Jumpa Punjabi doctor. Quite elderly. He asks me a few questions. I cepat-cepat potong cakap dia. I anxious kan. I tell him what happened. Terus he suruh I baring. I cakap kat the nurse, I’m so scared to do the scan. I dah traumatized. She comforts me and tells me not to worry.

Doc buat scan biasa. He sees something but he wants me to see what he sees. He mintak permission nak buat vaginal scan. I dah ready nak nangis. He puts a condom over the besi and puts lots of lubricant. I pejam mata kuat-kuat. Mcm tak rasa apa, he said done.

He showed me the screen. I saw my baby’s heart beat. Jelasnya. Ya Allah. I started to cry. He called Nas nak tunjuk. Then he pasang volume kuat-kuat. We heard our baby’s heart beat.

At 8 weeks and 1 day old, my baby’s lenght is 1.66cm.

Menangis kesyukuran.

Doc sendiri cakap “I’m so glad and thankful you came for a second opinion”.

Bayarnya RM159 (if I remember clearly but it was RM15 something lah). Mahal tapi berbaloi dengan 3 jenis vitamin. Terus I set appointment with him. Doctor Jaswant pun Doctor Jaswant lah.

So my friends…you tell me. Apa padahnya kalo I tak seek second opinion and buat D&C? I would have killed my healthy baby.

Just because Dr.Izlin tak nampak apa kat skrin, she presumed my baby dead. Cuai bukan? Berapa byk kes yg sama seperti I yg dia write off for D&C?

Until now I mengigil bila teringatkan heart beat baby I. Cemas dia. Laju je heart beat dia.

Everytime I muntah or mual or loya…I think about my baby’s heart beat and how close I was…how close I was to killing it.

What if I didn’t have the privilege of seeking for a second opinion? Macam mana kalo I takde kete nak carik 1 KL utk gynae tgh hari buta on a Saturday? Macam mana kalo I takde duit utk byr private doktor?

Byk persoalan…tapi jawapannya? Sungguh mengecewakan. I pergi jumpa Ketua Bahagian O&G HUKM. Tak dpt jumpa dia walaupun tunggu lebih 2 jam tapi dapat jumpa Senior Professor Dr.Hatta. Menurut beliau, it’s quite common for a doctor to write a fetus off as dead if a heart beat can’t be seen.

OMG. And all this while I thought they consulted each other or someone more experienced before making decisions like this?

Dr.Hatta offered me personal treatment. One on one. I said no thank you.

Nak promote safe sex and elak AIDS, ko bagi kondom free. Nak layan patient (yg berbayar tau, bukan free!), ko pakai latex glove nak kover the damn besi??! Fuck you lah.

I still want my Dr.Jaswant. At least I know I have an experienced doctor as opposed to a doctor yg tak habis tesis lagi di bahagian O&G. And no, I’m not talking about Dr.Hatta. Dr.Hatta dah 12 tahun pengalaman. Tapi anda yakin ke tiap-tiap kali pergi O&G HUKM, anda akan dapat Dr.Hatta? Kalo dpt doc macam Dr.Izlin…macam mana?